Somebody

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I am really a somebody.

A flesh and blood human with a heart that palpitates and a mind that observes and analyzes. A soul that craves real experiences and fulfillment.

I guess I just so often feel disconnected from myself it’s hard to realize it.

I’m often escaping through something and hardly do I take the time to just focus on something I really wanna do, not for anybody else but just for me.

I’m also often left feeling rather irrelevant as it seems nobody makes me an important part of their lives.

I’m told not to wait on people or to make people the center of my world but how much alone time is too much alone time?

I want to share real experiences with people and for them to see a side of me I don’t often get to show and I guess that leads to me trying too hard sometimes.

So sometimes I feel all I have are my dreams. But even that is scary because I don’t know what lies ahead. I want to know every step I need to take, what lies in wait around the corner, any surprises etc. But I can’t possibly know that.

All day every day I think that maybe one day I’ll make something of myself. But I’m sick of maybes.

All is such in a world of no absolutes.