journal – Page 13 – Artistic Apathy

What More Could It Be?

I can see the finish line

No doubt in my mind

I will be the one

To manifest everything

Ain’t it fun?

This rat race

I laugh in your face when you say

You hold the gun

Standing and watching from the outside

Makes you a non-participant

It seems I lack the discipline

Blurred lines between dreams and wishful thinking

Your message is heaven sent but still I want to stay grounded on earth

Is it all a curse or am I blessed

Am I nothing more than dirt or am I the soil beneath my feet, the trees and ever more?

Not only am I a part of the source, but I am the core

Spare me the needless details, I want to know everything

So it can be my saving grace

And squander the problems I face

What a Nice Idea

Don’t demonstrate to me what you can show without effort

The personality of life takes its shape in you

Oh how I wish I was that lively

Still, I take time to come into my own

A feeling of lack makes me think I’ve found a home

In you

I want to be like you but I’m not you

What a dissonance

You flaunt your privilege

While I’m submerged underwater, waiting to come up

You’ve found a comfortable raft on which to brave the seas

Oh the irony

This old rickety thing?

What am I saying?

I bite my tongue until it bleeds

Maybe that will teach me

Finally

To let it all go

Baby Steps

Given the right context

I could bloom with many prospects

Give me the right tune to sing

Give me the harmonic melody

You struck a chord in me that resonated

Life and death I contemplated it

One day my breath will leave me

Will you teach me how not to hold your hand

So that I may blaze the trail of my own accord

An unbinding of self, a sweet divorce

Resulting in a union

The separation of two creating a fusion

But how could one separate the inseparable

Allow me to fall but not to stay down

I want to make you proud

Of me

A Subtle Offering

I’m not very bright

There’s always someone better than me

But you guide me and lead me to a ravine

Where there is plenty to drink

And you tell me to rid myself of thirst

Dehydration causes a turn for the worst

If I had my fill then could I soar?

Would the ebb and flow of nature take its course

In me?

I wonder

You lead me back time and time again and still I only drink enough to wet my tongue

When will I learn

In the Name Of

There are times in life when we feel like something is missing.

Often times we can’t pin point exactly what it is.

Then we get the thing we’ve been looking for and feel whole, if not only for a while.

Then time drags on and we feel like something is missing again.

See, we’ve come to take everything for granted.

Everything that is so beautiful about this very moment.

We get lost.

It’s at times like this that we becoming soberingly aware of our own existence and start asking what our place in this universe is.

What will make us truly happy?

What if the answer was nothing? Then what would you do…