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I feel like the prisoner in my own mind…

Longing to break free…

What’s it going to take to break this spell that’s on me?

What’s real and what’s fake? What’s true and what’s false?

Lines are blurred and I escape reason and dance a dance full of folly

Afraid of what the future holds. I’d do anything to hear a word of encouragement. To hear something comforting.

I feel like I’m defective. Must be something wrong with me…

I try to fix myself but if I’m the problem then how can I fix things myself?

I’m altogether burdened and long for respite.

Who will be the shoulder for me to lean on? Where can my soul find its peace at long last?

I search everywhere for answers, frantically, not a moment of rest, restlessly looking for the answer…


I traverse the path they call life with you

Over they sky, a monochrome rainbow but now a different hue

Stabbed me one too many times, been my thorn one too many times… I thought of getting rid of you

A relationship is a gamble for me but you I couldn’t stand to lose

We have conversations over coffee, see, but we still have different views

Offer me a million girls from all around the world and still only you I’d choose

I’ve come clean. I’ve righted my wrongs. I’ve paid my debts. I’ve paid my dues

Please let this be as sweet as candy and as pure as white snow on a frosty December morning.

Wherever you are, whatever it is, I’ll meet you there, no matter what it’s concerning.

An unquenchable torch within my heart that will forever be burning

I fear my emotions are too much sometimes and you’ll leave in a hurry

Please reassure me everyday and tell me “I love you” so I never have to worry.


When you said you were down to ride, I didn’t account for an actual roller coaster

With you it’s up and down. First you’re hot then you’re cold.

What’s it going to take to spark this light?

I know exactly what buttons to push, what knobs to turn, to send you reeling…

You beg for mercy but it’s too late now. Allow me to repay you for everything in this moment.

I will not stop until you’ve arrived. Unlike a road trip, the point is not the destination.

In this case it’s the journey. On this ride, there are highs and then there are lows.

Let me get you to the point of climax only to have you fall into a maddening deep descent.

Afterwards I leave you begging for more but I’m reluctant to spoil you.

I’ll leave you to your imagination so the real thing is that much more powerful

You’ve given up control but left it in very capable hands.

Only someone who adores you deserves to have this kind of power over you.

This isn’t a dynamic, but every thing means something if I’m that much closer to you.

Our bodies become one and our souls unite on this joy ride of passion, pain and pleasure…

I sketched a story on your bare back. The story of us. Beginning, resolution and climax.

The Deal With Posthumous Releases

In a day and age where late rappers are becoming a norm, we are seeing more and more of the release of posthumous work (i.e. work released after death.) A few prolific rappers stand out in this conversation, including Lil Peep, XXXTENTACION and Mac Miller.

All at the height of their success when they passed. It’s truly unfortunate we couldn’t see the further development of these artists especially when they were so ambiguous in their work and so promising.

Often when these artists die there is still a plethora of music left behind, yet to be released. In the case of Lil Peep, the rising emo rap star, there was an immense amount of work unreleased. The label partnered with frequent collaborators of Lil Peep to bring about projects that the fans could accept. Following the release of the polished Come Over When You’re Sober collection, label heads, with input from Peep’s mom decided to release the more raw and authentic Everybody’s Everything. Which doubled as a soundtrack to the documentary on his life.

A lot of controversy was stirred when the label continued to release music under Peep’s name but rest assured his mother Liza was behind it every step of the way. Saying:

“What do you do when a young artist dies long before his time, leaving behind a legacy of finished and unfinished work, and a legion of heartbroken fans?”

– Liza Womack

It seems like the honorable thing to do to honor the late artist and put out a body of work that most closely emulates what the artist in mention would have wanted.

Like stated before, this isn’t without its controversy as the bodies that distribute this late work are often met with backlash. Like when the BMW that XXXTENTACION died in was on display at an album event.

This begs the question of if an artists’ legacy is best left alone. Of course the family and friends of the artist have an idea of what the artists would have wanted in a project, single releases, etc. but the artist isn’t there to provide input.

Prior to his death, Mac Miller was busy at work on a follow up to his album Swimming. The album featured production from one producer named Jon Briar who later went on to finish the album keeping in mind the vision Miller had for it.

Again, it is nice to still get new material from an artist after their death but it often spurs a slew of questions about how exactly these releases are being handled. It seems that the ones in charge of these releases put immense thought into the given project before releasing but without the touch of the artists in question something is somewhat lacking.

That being said, you can’t please everyone. Especially on the internet. Someone will always have an opinion. Admittedly it is nice to see songs that didn’t have a proper release get one finally and for unfinished projects to see the light of day but the motives of the people at hand are often in question.

Sorry to say, these artists are gone and all we have left of them is the music. If we can continue their legacy going even for a short time, then maybe the details don’t matter so much.


These thoughts pool and suddenly I’m submerged

Beneath the surface, I will find courage

To do things unheard of. Past things remain,

From the dreadful I’ll abstain.

I’ll find the key to unlock the chain — reaction in me.

Find my drive, and keep me from a self crushing defeat.

Not for glory and not for kingdom but for something much deeper. Something that lies above the surface of the current: still waters.

The calming waters will soothe my soul until I am but a merry sailor aboard the great sea of life.

Now I can full sail, knowing that I’m in full control. First I learned to swim then I learned to fare the waters blue.

Where there’s room for one there’s always two.