Lift me up!
Carry me!
I float on a cloud of insecurities and disconcertment
This vehicle no longer serves me
I need a new means of transportation
I hear of a fancier cloud where less thought is given to your immediate circumstances
One where music’s soul bonds with one’s own and the immediate scenario is one of dreams
I don’t know if I can afford such a cloud.
For now, would you help balance me so that I can gain my composure?
Maybe one day I will reach higher, much higher, in the clouds…
It’s very clear that I love you
We’ve had our moments
But in one dream I am taking care of you, keeping you out of harm’s way
In another I am telling you that I forgive you
For everything
You are so close yet so far away
I miss the old you
I remember when we used to play and there were no worries
Now it seems that everyday you’re involved in a new drama
But you won’t involve me in your life
Oh how I wish things could go back to the way things were
Maybe they never will
Just know that I will continue loving you
Despite the circumstances
You gripe about things with little sustenance
Still, your sustaining of the matter keeps that very thing alive
Can’t you see you are the one inflicting the wounds?
Sore and gaping?
Still you dare not to look at it
Because then you would have to treat those wounds
How could the inflictor double as a healer
I wonder
However I am not absolved
I am not better than anyone
I sit lying in hospice
Awaiting the day I can be released
Will it rest on my shoulders to be the one
Or will the wounds mend themselves and cease to be
Pardon me
I walk through a meadow with thick lush grass but a thunderstorm strikes
And the rain is too much to bare
I look for cover but there is none
To where will I hide then?
No.
There is nowhere.
I continue as it should be
I can see the finish line
No doubt in my mind
I will be the one
To manifest everything
Ain’t it fun?
This rat race
I laugh in your face when you say
You hold the gun
Standing and watching from the outside
Makes you a non-participant
It seems I lack the discipline
Blurred lines between dreams and wishful thinking
Your message is heaven sent but still I want to stay grounded on earth
Is it all a curse or am I blessed
Am I nothing more than dirt or am I the soil beneath my feet, the trees and ever more?
Not only am I a part of the source, but I am the core
Spare me the needless details, I want to know everything
So it can be my saving grace
And squander the problems I face
Don’t demonstrate to me what you can show without effort
The personality of life takes its shape in you
Oh how I wish I was that lively
Still, I take time to come into my own
A feeling of lack makes me think I’ve found a home
In you
I want to be like you but I’m not you
What a dissonance
You flaunt your privilege
While I’m submerged underwater, waiting to come up
You’ve found a comfortable raft on which to brave the seas
Oh the irony
This old rickety thing?
What am I saying?
I bite my tongue until it bleeds
Maybe that will teach me
Finally
To let it all go
Artistic Apathy 