freewriting – Page 9 – Artistic Apathy

Music

Music is something that’s very hard to put into words for me. It’s a topic I’ve written about before but is something that never ceases to astound me.

How much it transcends borders and is universal. The fact that it connects people together. I love when people come together to share their love for a particular song or piece of music. It’s as if for that moment they are under one flag, nationalities and such don’t matter.

The sheer power of music. How it uplifts the soul. None of it is by accident but I believe music was put here to heal troubled souls, uplift shaky spirits and reinvigorate passions.

It truly is a medicine of the sweetest kind. The idea that there is something out there for every person is perfect too. People can choose what music they listen to around their personal tastes and so it becomes something personal.

Sometimes I like to think I have a relationship with music. Almost like it’s an entity. And all the artists and musicians that make it up are the body. It’s something personal for me as music has been there for me a lot of times when no one was. It’s gotten me so inspired to the point where I take it upon myself to make my own music. Even working with other artists at times to bring forth a vision.

Music is a friend in times of need. Want to feel comforted and like someone feels your pain? There is music for that. Want music to enhance your mood or experience? Ditto. Want to reflect on times long gone when it seemed things were better? Again I repeat.

I read a comment sometime where someone said they couldn’t imagine a world without music. I hardly can either. For me it’s a driving force for the human race and has given a voice to the voiceless and given people platforms where otherwise they wouldn’t have one.

In all honesty, thank God for music.

One Thing

Hello again, long time no see… if you’re wondering why I’ve been absent, I’ve taken a small break from posting due to the fact that I’ve been dealing with very low lows and at times experiencing crisis.

Well I’m back, if even only to deliver you this post.

Everyday I learn something new. Life is full of gifts and little surprises and is absolutely worth it.

I guess most of all what I’m thankful for is my friends. They may not be present all the time in times of despair and I’m learning to just accept that. Sometimes you have to go it alone, but it’s all essential for growth.

I’m currently on vacation in the Caribbean again and I’m finding rest for my weary soul. A self-prescribed medication that perhaps I really needed.

There’s a lot of downtime and slow moments but I think it’s in those moments that we find out the most about ourselves. Are you the type to make something out of nothing or are you simply a dreamer?

A friend of mine told me to let go and that’s been on my mind ever since I read his text message. Sometimes I expect too much out of people but all I know is that expectations can lead to much disappointment. No matter how depressing that may sound, it’s just life.

I’m learning to expect less from people while still being open to receive their gifts.

It’s like a quote from a movie I saw says: “people aren’t just one thing.” I’ve often thought about that line and the more I think about it, it’s true.

If I only remember the wrongs someone committed then in my mind I have written that person off. Although they may be so much more. Going through old back and forths with a friend of mine drew me to that conclusion. We had been there for each other through dark times but one absence in a moment of desperation can lead you to forget who they were for you all along.

I hope you all find rest for your weary souls, truly.

1/3

It is the morning of January 3rd and things are especially quiet.

I feel a big space. Rather, I sense a big space and I am in it. I am apart of that big space.

As I converge with said big space, I myself feel a lot bigger.

Boundless, even.

Not a single care in the world, almost as if I’m floating on a dream.

Everything provided for, nothing to stress over.

A clean slate in the truest sense. Given, I could go anywhere I want to go, see anything or do whatever.

It is the morning of January 3rd and I am

Whole.

Maritime Mail

“Dear Wildflower, how are you? I hope this letter finds you in good standing. Today I sat atop the tower and I looked over at the sea. I thought ‘wow, I’m so blessed. I have all these things.’ Still I did not feel like it was enough. I’ve been like this for quite some time. Please, write to me soon. Your friend, your correspondent.”

“Dear Correspondent, I am good. Today I went to the market and sold well. I love this little town no matter how quaint. I watch the same vendors bicker all day and I never grow tired of it… About your situation, I’m sorry to hear that. Maybe you need to leave that tower and explore the world like me. It will broaden your mind.”

“Dear Wildflower, I’m glad to see you are doing well. Your town sounds a lot better than this tower. I think I’ve made my mind up. I’m going to leave the comfort zone of my precious tower and travel the world. I have the funds to do it after all.”

“Dear Correspondent, I’m happy for you. I think you will come to realize something special out on the road. This town is nice, but I feel I may outgrow it soon. Maybe I’ll see you out there?

Your friend, Wildflower.”

“Dear Wildflower, I found a seaside town called Port Augustus. I’ve been here for several weeks. Something begs me to stay but at the same time my spirit calls for me to continue my journey. How are things? Are you still at the same address? I hope everything works out for you.”

“Dear Correspondent, I am well again. I’m going to be moving soon. I will send you postage from my new residence when I settle in. That is, if you are still at the same address.”

“Dear Wildflower, I’m leaving this town. I’m not sure if you are still at this address. Maybe they will forward it to you. You never told me where you were moving to. If I never hear from you again, I wish you a well life. Thank you, again.”

See Me

I want you to see me

Can you see clearly?

Am I in focus?

It’s me.

And I’ve waited longingly for you

For the day…

Where we could become one

Still, you won’t come to a conclusion

Do you want to keep running from me?

Or will you embrace me?

After all, I am… You.