conscious – Artistic Apathy

Ping!

Time after time, I check my results.

So much it begs the question “who am I really doing this for?”

Am I still finding that my sense of acceptance must come from outside of myself?

If so I am illusioned.

On the one hand, I understand that a desire for approval is almost innate in human beings.

From the moment we are born we learn to depend on our parents for everything. So much that we even begin to depend on them for our emotional well being. Thinking that similarly flawed human beings hold the key is backwards thinking.

Parents can teach you a lot. But something you must learn to do on your own is love yourself for who you are.

Despite everything.

As long as your self-esteem is dependent on the likes and comments you receive in this ensnaring digital world, you are a slave to perception.

Perception is subjective and therefore how you feel about you becomes subjective.

I’m not saying it’s easy to escape this cycle but by understanding it a little bit more each time you slowly weaken the choke hold that it has on you and your self-esteem.

Karmic Balance

The young man was sullen. It seemed every attempt he had at making a good life was foiled.

Day after day, bad things would happen and he would take it on the nose.

It was something he was used to.

He wondered how much longer he could endure hit after hit until he broke.

One day something snapped in him and he decided he was no longer going to be a slave to his circumstances.

He would clean up his act once and for all and redeem himself.

When he decided that at that moment, unbeknownst to him, hell was unleashed upon him.

His life got so dramatically worse he pondered taking his own life to finally escape the wheel of suffering.

Realizing that it wasn’t the answer, he endured some more.

Shrouded in ultimate darkness, not even a beacon of hope.

Sooner or later, a ray of light shined through the clouds. He had already undergone the worst and couldn’t see it getting any worse!

He said “I’m just going to accept this.”

So he practiced accepting.

When he accepted all the bad things going on around him, the bad things started turning into good things.

He was no longer a victim of his circumstances.

He detached from the outcomes of life and found that life was positively enjoyable if you allow it to be. He was the one creating all of his problems all along and was never a victim.

Now, in some strange way, he was thankful for all the things he experienced because his life became enjoyable as a result of the pain he endured.

If he would have surrendered defeat in the eye of the storm, he would have never got to see the calm.

What a cruel yet kind mistress life is.

I’m Not Time Conscious Anymore

I stopped keeping track of time.

Hours, minutes, days… it’s all relative to me.

When I’m at work, I no longer count down the time until I’m free to go.

When I’m at home, I no longer count down the time until I have to go back to work.

I’m just here.

Relishing in the moment. And I’m loving every minute of it (no pun intended).

I’ve stepped into a different “dimension”. A world where time is illusory and everything flows as a continuous now.

I’ve heard it takes years of meditating and a higher consciousness to enter such a state but I’ve done it in such a short time.

I also find myself not having much to say about it. There’s really nothing to say. Except this post I’m writing to you.

When you live in the world of manmade time, focusing on the minutes that have passed or that will, the hours… You are living in the past and future. You are no longer in touch with the secret of nature that we all are apart of.

When you live in the here and now, everything is perfect. Even mistakes. People. People are perfect. Everything is the way it is and you don’t find yourself asking for more.

Because it is enough.

Just to be here.