I don’t own you…
And I think that is so beautiful
I watch you dance and prance on the stage of life
You are so fascinating
You are your own person
How could I ever keep you caged like a bird?
The caged bird sings but you sing even louder when you are free to roam
I won’t be the one to bind you.
Run
Run free
Make me proud to be in this maze with you
I used to find the reality of life to be rather boring. Painful even. In real life you’re put through school in a pipeline fashion since you’re physically able to speak and come out as an adult and suddenly you’re supposed to know what you want to be forever.
If you choose the wrong career it could mean failure, so you better choose wisely. Thinking this way can make life seem like it’s all a game of survival. We have to constantly protect ourself from “threats” like back stabbing friends or people holding us back.
Yeah, life can appear rather boring and dismal. After all you can’t fly, you don’t have superpowers and you can’t teleport anywhere at whim. Sigh.
This is why from a young age I’ve always been drawn towards stories of fantasy and adventure. Journeys across strange worlds in search of treasure or power. It seemed a lot more exciting compared to my real life and oftentimes I wished I could live in these fantasy worlds but… this is reality. And in the real world there are no superpowers, you can’t fly…
But wait! That’s not entirely true. In the real world there are superpowers. They just don’t involve laser vision and invisibility.
For some, a superpower can be the ability to walk up to a cashier and order food in a concise manner without stumbling or stuttering over your words.
A superpower can be asking that girl out that you’ve always dreamt of dating but never had the courage to do so until now.
A superpower can simply be the courage to follow your dreams and not be worried about failing or letting anyone down.
So can life be an adventure with superpowers and flying? Well… maybe not flying like a bird in the literal sense but absolutely!
We’ve all heard of adventures like climbing a mountain, spending a retreat in the woods or traveling the world but what about right here in your hometown? Can you make your adventure there?
More and more life is becoming like an adventure for me. Even things that people see as mundane I see differently. I see everything almost as a game and there are levels. Every-time you try something new or face a fear, you expand. That’s a level up. Every-time you do something you’ve done a million times but with a different attitude, that’s a new level. It’s a new you.
Yes life can seem dreary and dull but it will stay like that until you start doing the things that excite you, make you happy and bring you satisfaction.
There’s a million opportunities a day. Don’t plan anything, just go where the wind takes you. But follow your heart and everyday will seem like an adventure.
I’m a pretty big dreamer. I can call myself that. But nothing more magnifies this idea than my actual dreams. At night I dream expansive imaginative worlds with their own narration. None of them like the other.
Often times, like most I suppose, I forget that I’m living a dream and when I wake up there are a few moments where I have to ground myself in reality and think “that was a dream.”
It’s often said dreams are a portal to another world. I’ve heard it been said that dreams are the reality and we’re actually in the dream during our waking hours. I don’t know about all of that but I do know that in my dreams are encased my fears, anxieties, emotions, hopes, dreams. Things that I don’t normally express during my waking hours.
It’s almost like a little playground where one can act out the deepest inclinations of their mind. Although, sometimes I’m surprised by what I dream, it can be horrifying.
While dreams aren’t always pleasant, they can also be a way to connect to others vicariously. Maybe you’d like to say sorry to someone whose trust you broke. Maybe you want to finally say goodbye to that late family member, properly.
In dreams, I get to interact with those in my life who are important to me but are miles and miles away. In dreams I get to talk to them face to face, I can hold them and feel them. It’s a way for me to deal with the emotional burden of them not being here and sometimes there are moments in dreams I wish I could actually live.
Last night I had a dream that a friend sent me a video of them in New York City. It was snowing and it was apparently Christmas by the garments that they had on. I went outside and there were Christmas decorations everywhere. I went up a long hill and raised my head to see the sky was filled with dazzling stars. What a beautiful dream. So beautiful, I had to immortalize it forever in a drawing. Which I often gawk at because I know I’ll never get that dream back.
But hey, you never know. Life is just dreams waiting to be made reality.
I wonder though, if someone could remember every detail of their dreams from while they were asleep, I’m sure there’d be movie scripts, inventions and lucrative ideas just waiting to be expanded upon.
Thank you for reading~
Until next time.
The young man traversed the center of the city at night without stalling looking for his would be lover. They said they would be there but weren’t at the spot they said they would be. He had this worried expression on his face and he carried a single rose in his right hand.
The rose was wilting by the minute for every minute that passed without him entrusting the rose to his beloved.
I have to find her, he thought.
He texted her on his mobile phone. Where are you? He wondered if maybe she was ghosting him.
He gauged the many couples hand in hand and thought about how lonely he felt without her around. The city lights were almost like a spotlight on him and this was his performance. Though no one really wondered why he carried the rose with such haste.
Upon entering a bar he saw a woman with brown hair much like his loved one. He maneuvered through the large crowd to get to her and he set his hand on her shoulder. She turned around with a jolt.
It wasn’t her.
“Sorry.”
The woman went back to conversing with her friends. At this point he’s distraught. He circles the floor of the bar when some girls at a table notice him.
“Are you looking for someone?” One of them asks.
“I am. I’m looking for a girl with brown hair, pale skin, she’s really short. Have you seen her around here?”
They all shook their heads.
“Do you want a lollipop?” The same girl asked.
The man thought they were being nice in offering him a treat.
“Sure,” he said.
“One dollar,” the girl said.
The young man was bewildered. It seems they were having a birthday party but were selling would-be party favors at a price. He turned them down and went about his business.
He stepped outside of the bar and surveyed the passerby’s and then looked up at the dark night sky. There weren’t many stars. It was just empty blackness. Which summed up his night pretty well.
He trotted some more, occasionally resting on park benches. He held the rose in his hand and decided it was time to go home. She wouldn’t show. He threw the rose in the trash. It was one of the most painful things he had ever done.
As he was walking a man walked next to him at about the same pace.
“Man I’ve walked all this city looking for this place and I still don’t know where it’s at, man.”
The young man turned to him.
“I understand, I’ve been looking all over for this girl. She said she’d be here and never showed.”
“Sorry to hear that, man,” the man said.
At that point the young man looked up at the roof of the cathedral and a flock of birds took flight in a V-pattern. This is pain, he thought.
I slowly opened my eyes and saw nothing but white. A white wall. For a second I forgot just where I was. I was in the white room, where time moved at a crawl. Or did time really move at all? I seemed to have forgotten the concept of time. At first I could tell how much time had gone by because I was provided with a small mirror. When my beard grew out I knew it had been several days. But I didn’t have any tools to shave.
I think I’ve gone mad, I don’t know how long I’ve been in here and why… at first I came up with little stories to entertain myself. I learned how to be my best friend. I talked to myself a lot. I talked about how to break out. The door was right there, but I couldn’t bring myself to open it. I was afraid of what was on the other side. Many times I came close to opening it but decided not to. I still don’t know if it’s really locked or I just tricked myself into believing it. But I digress.
There was the wall to my right stained with blood from when I punched my knuckles bloody. I was frustrated and a little crazy. I don’t know what I thought. Maybe that I could punch my way out? But it was unsuccessful.
At that moment a buzzer rang. I looked up at the wall to my left and there was a red light flashing. The door swung open and a man in a white lab coat came inside. I stood up and faced him.
“Who are you?” I asked.
He just smiled.
“Are you ready to come out now?”
I didn’t know how to answer that question.
“Of course… I have been. For a while.”
“I don’t think you were ready. But now, are you ready?”
I stared at him for a moment then nodded.
“Why am I here? Who put me in here?”
The man smiled.
“I’ll show you. And when I show you, you won’t want to believe it.”
I followed him out of the room and the door shut behind me.
What I saw shocked me to my core.
Artistic Apathy 